All too often I think we, as a population, tend to focus on what’s not working and the negatives in our lives. And who can blame us, seemingly being bombarded non-stop from news outlets, Twitter & other social media and all the other external stimuli we’re exposed to.
This can make it difficult to remember life isn’t all bad; in fact, in my opinion the good far outweighs everything else – if we just take the time to look for it. Contrary to what some may believe, positive occurrences don’t need to come in momentous packages. Children often show us this through the wonder they exhibit as they explore their world – what happens to this as we age? Where does it go?
There is no doubt life can be uncomfortable and, at times, downright miserable. But why should we allow that to become our reality? Even when things are going horribly wrong, I believe you can find something good to focus on to help start lifting you up – even if it’s only someone allowing you to pull in front of them on the freeway or having your child (or spouse) do something you ask them w/o an argument.
Focusing on these little “victories” will train your brain to look for others; shifting your focus from noticing just the bad to really understanding how much good you are exposed to on a daily basis. To me, this is doubly important as a parent of a child with Special Needs. I have found it scarily easy to lose sight of life’s simple pleasures – falling into a pit of darkness where nothing seems to go right at times.
This isn’t healthy, and it’s certainly not enjoyable. Yes, there are times when my son loses ground – times when he’s unable to utilize skills I thought he’d mastered. And yes, crap like flat tires on days when I need to be somewhere or the universe seeming to pick dump on Eric days happen to me. But dwelling on this only serves to make me feel like crap for longer, and causes me to look at everything through the wrong lens – focusing on the negatives of every situation.
I’m no Pollyanna, I understand the world is not all rainbows and unicorns. I’ve had my dreams shattered and felt like the universe laughed in my face. I’m choosing not to make this my focal point. I have found life to be much more enjoyable if/when I celebrate my successes, no matter how small they may seem.
Like any habit, it may be difficult at first – especially if it’s not something you’ve been doing. You may need to actively look for things to celebrate, but I promise if you stick with this it becomes much easier. In a few months you won’t even have to think about it – it will have become the norm. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. I had to tune out much of the external stimuli to give myself enough bandwidth to start doing this. I still tend to walk away from those who focus only on the negative, I don’t begrudge them their beliefs but I don’t want it in my life.
The year’s almost over – wouldn’t it be fantastic to live 2018 and beyond looking at the world through a lens where you can readily acknowledge and celebrate ALL your wins? Give it a try, and remember you get out what you put in – so if you are halfhearted in your attempt don’t expect amazing results.