I want to preface this by saying I continue to believe we can achieve what we put our minds to; however, I think it’s important for us to acknowledge what we have an aptitude for. I don’t believe, although I wish I could, people will get whatever they want just because they believe they should. I also don’t believe all it takes is hard work – I have first-hand experience this isn’t enough.
It’s important to know what you want, and to write your Goals down. It’s also important to map out how you will achieve those Goals; but the unfortunate truth (as I see it) is no matter how much you believe, and how hard you work towards them, you may still not achieve the Goal; especially if you’re not being honest with yourself.
When you set Goals, I think it’s important to acknowledge and understand what the associated opportunity costs are. Every decision comes with a price, an alternative you’re not electing. Some of those costs are too high, we’re not willing to pay them – and this is okay; but it means we’re setting that particular result aside.
This is where I feel we’re not being honest enough with ourselves. We blame anything and everything else – it’s too expensive, it’s too hard, etc. It’s not, we’re just not willing to pay the price of entry. Others are, and they achieve what we do not – not because they’re better than us or luckier; but because they are willing to accept the cost. Sure, some of them have more innate abilities and/or resources; but these do not decide who is successful and who is not.
Before charting a course, do the best you can to understand what’s on the path ahead. No, you’re not going to be able to identify all the obstacles and challenges; but you can take a hard look at yourself and decide how committed you are to the objective and when enough is enough. There is more to success than blindly chasing a Goal at the cost of everything else.
There has to be an understanding you may not be 100% successful – at least to me. I don’t let this hold me back. The best example I can give is my fight for my son’s independence. I’ve had “experts” tell me his whole life not to expect too much; that it’s likely he’s going to plateau at some point. I acknowledge their opinions, they have a lot more experience in this world than I do. However, I also know there are exceptions to every rule; and I am doing everything I can to help my son be an exception.
This has led to choices I’ve made taking me on a very different course I envisioned for myself when my wife was alive. It’s also led to me admitting (painfully) I need help from others because there is a lot of “simple” things I’m not good at (like teaching him to cook). We’ve reached some “dead-ends”, and right now he’s not ready to live completely independently. I’m still unwilling to say he never will, but I will admit I’m not sure when or how I will get him there.
But I own it – and I didn’t always. It’s so much easier to ignore the painful truths. Those truths don’t have to define you. What are your truths? What have you been ignoring? How can you accept these truths, without letting them hold you back?